WOW! Almost 18 months since my surgery. I must say I did forget about this site and figured it was gone. Now after having read my comments I made before my surgery I feel I must share what life is like for me now. Hmmm, I guess the best way to describe it would FANTASTIC/WONDERFUL/INCREDIBLE/BEAUTIFUL and much much more.
The morning of my surgery has to be one of the top 2 scariest days of my life! All the way to the hospital I was telling I will just tell them I am sorry I am not going to do this I am not ready. Then my thoughts were - will Bruce understand? Will he be disappointed in me? Didn't care about the Drs but I was about Bruce.
We checked in and I was totally convinced I was going to tell them the surgery was off. Took me back to the room to change (and I did) still sure I was going to tell them NO! Everyone was very nice but I was still convinced this was not going to happen. Bruce asked me if I was ok several times and I said NO. But I didn't tell him my plans.
I was laying on the bed and a nurse asked if I was ok I said yes but... She said would you like something for your anxiety. Oh YES! That was my last memory! Never got my chance to say "get me out of here"!
My very next waking thoughts were, "What happened to me". I knew that something happened while I was on the surgery table but was afraid to ask. I remember hearing voices and wondered if I had died. I knew they were talking about me but I had the feeling they didn't know I could here them. One woman made some comment about how large I was. That made no sense to me at all. Bruce later explained. I don't mean to sound dramatic but those were my first thoughts!
More to come......
